I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize