Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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