I'm gonna have a badass scar
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
