This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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