I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
