I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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