you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
my poor anus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
