i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize