There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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