another moral hangover. fuck.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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