the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
