two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
