This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
