why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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