She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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