do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
