dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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