I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
