once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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