One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
