It's Friday. Sex?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
