Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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