I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
