just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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