i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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