Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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