IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
