I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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