Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
