Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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