I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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