This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
