you guys were way drunker than both of me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
