he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
