wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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