So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
