Moan for me like Helen Keller
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
