But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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