the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
