So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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