So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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