lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize