Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
