tell your sister to shave her snatch
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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