So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
