I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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