I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
