that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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