Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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