So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
