All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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