i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
