i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
