butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
