If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
