I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
