on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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