Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
