everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
