Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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