what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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