This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
