Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize